I can still remember the warmth on my arms,
the feeling of sand beneath my feet, and
what was I'm sure a look of complete bewilderment on my face.
We were standing on the beach in sunny Santa Barbara after just escaping the harsh northeast winter. Chris had turned to me and said..."What if this was just our life? What if I was full-time with you and we could come to California whenever we wanted?"
I had to fight the urge not to laugh. The thought of Christopher quitting his job so soon after we had just bought our first home, it had to be a joke.
"Are you serious?!" I finally managed to say.
"Yes! Just imagine it...we could live anywhere we want, work from the beach, go surfing in the middle of the day!"
I had to remind him, that as awesome as my job is, it does actually involve WORK! And while in theory, we could surf in the middle of the day, that would mean having to work all evening instead.
Always the realist.
That's me. So many of my photographer friends boldly proclaim that they are dreamers, and I've had to fight that little voice that questioned my authenticity as a "real photographer" if I wasn't also a dreamer. I thought the two had to go hand in hand. In order to succeed big, I had to dream big.
But what if big dreams scared me? What if keeping a handle on today was hard enough? I've always been a one-step-in-front-of-the-other type of girl. Literally every last duck needs to be in a row for me to take a single step. I need systems and spreadsheets and templates and checklists...I need order and it has to make sense. I can't just throw myself forward without a net! This caution is probably why I've never broken a bone! So imagine the surprise on my face when I replied...
"Okay. Let's do it."
The moments following involved snuggling in the sand, then dipping our toes in the ocean, then walking out to a Mexican restaurant on the pier. We relaxed our way through fish tacos with the smell of salt water and sunscreen just under our noses...my three favorite smells. Or at least they're my favorite now! They'll always remind me of that moment and of the big dream we started that day.
It's been almost two years, but it's finally happening! Look...I agreed to dream, but I still had to get my ducks in a row!!! I'm still me after all! So, two years later, the systems are in place, the spreadsheets have been made, and the checklists are all in order. CHRISTOPHER IS OFFICIALLY A FULL-TIME MEMBER OF CASSI CLAIRE PHOTOGRAPHY!!!! And I'm not the only one who's excited!! :)